The other day I walked outside and noticed my vehicle had been ‘assaulted’ by birds.  Well, I thought it was birds by the number of droppings that landed on my car, but it turned out to be just one bird, and a very menacing bird at that.  White globs and streaks were on the back bumper, windows, and side mirrors.  Disgusting, I know.  Continuing my task at hand, I walked to the backyard, was there for a few minutes, and then I returned to the side door.  As I approached the door I once again looked at my car and there was a blue bird flying into the cargo door attacking what it thought was another bird.  It was just his reflection.  When it saw me it bolted and good thing it did.  I was not happy.  If I had good aim I would have thrown a rock at the stupid animal.  But really I like blue birds; they are pretty little things.  Their rust colored chest and rich blue feathers bring a smile to my face.

Now that the perpetrator had been sighted I tried to figure out a way keep him at bay.  Normally this isn’t a problem because I park in the garage.  But Hubby is doing some outdoor home improvement projects that apparently require his supplies to be strewn all over the garage (wink, wink) so parking in the garage for a little while is not an option.  So the remedy I concocted was as simple as simple could be.  I stayed outside, mainly in the backyard, and periodically checked on my poor car to see if the culprit returned.  If he was attacking the car or in the general vicinity, I shewed him off.  After about three times the blue bird didn’t return.

You may think that this is one of the most ridiculous blog posts you have read, but I wanted to share, nonetheless, because it irked me that clean, black, shiny vehicle had been defiled by a bird-brain blue bird.  I am aware that the bird was just protecting its territory, and I fought back by protecting what is mine.  So stay away all you poo-filled birds.  I’m watching you.

side swiped

overhead bombings

blue bird bandit on the bumper


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